Saturday, October 17, 2009

Keith Olbermann Wins Double-Douchebag Award!

Just In from Disassociated Press! (c)
Olbermann wins Prestigious Douche Award!
Date: 12:30 AM, October 17, 2009
By Staff Writer Alan Smithee

It's time for the Fall Douchebag Awards! This year, the World Of Greasywrench has decided to give out a double award (sometimes refered to as the Stereo version) to Keith Olbermann. It's not often a candidate emerges that possesses the "Right Stuff" that qualifies him/her for the prize. Past winners have included Cindy Sheehan, Sean Penn, and Hugo Chavez. So.... without further ado we award the coveted prize to PMS-NBC's Keith Olbermann.

In the photo on the upper left Olbermann can be seen proudly displaying his lovely Douchebag trophies and straw-sipping his favorite beverage (Kool-Aid) from one of the bags. When he was reminded of the near icon status of the Douchebag Awards and that they weren't actually for drinking out of, he coyly shrugged it off and quipped "I was thirsty and couldn't find my Che Gueverra coffee mug".

Olbermann then said, before taking a hearty swig out of one of his Douchebags, "Mother Olbermann used to have one of these little red gizmo's and I could never figure out what it was for. She used to tell me it was an empty water balloon just to have some light fun at my expense. Now that I know how handy they are, I'll always have these keen little rubber jugs for my Shirley Temple Cocktails when I feel thuggish and go out clubbing".

According to Jim Dandy, publicist of PMS-NBC, Olbermann's selection "ranks right up there" with the Nobel Peace Prize award President Obama received last week. Dandy also said "We couldn't be prouder of Keith with this prestigious choice. He's done so much to earn this recognition. If anyone in the main stream media deserves to be associated with a Douchebag - it's Keith Olbermann".

Some Reactions to Olbermann's Douchebag Ceremony...
1. The lovely Michell Malkin had no comment.
2. Chris Matthews reportedly had fresh "tingles" running up and down his legs. Matthews denied they were fleas.
3. Ted Kennedy is still dead and couldn't be reached for comment.
4. House Speaker Nazi Pelousy was busy with Botox injections and unavailable.
5. Rush Limbaugh was last seen filing a legal brief.
6. Massengale feminine products was considering Olbermann as a new spokesperson.

The beat goes on and on and the clueless remain clueless.....


Winfred Mann said...

The double-douchebag deserves the coveted Double-Douchebag. He and his cohorts represent the epitome of bias and hate in so-called news media.

Greasywrench said...

Winfred, if KO wasn't such a dipshit and didn't make such ridiculous comments on his show I doubt anyone would give him a second thought. He'd be just another pile of dogshit drying out in the Sun. But the forum he has on PMS-NBC allows him to be stupid on a National basis.

The comment he made about Michelle Malkin being "mashed up meat with lipstick" was about as immature and stupid as anything he's ever said. It reminded me of some of the Mamma and Granny jokes I used to hear in Junior High School. That's what really gets me about KO - how in the hell did a lightweight such as he ever get a national forum. The lefties are really hard up to get ratings against FOX.