Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Palate Cleanser For Today

There is an ugly rumor currently circulating on the web that the late Eartha Kitt is the biological Mother of Michael Jackson. Here on The World Of Greasywrench we would like to assure our readers (all two or three of them) that this nasty smear is entirely untrue.

Here in the photo on the left is the late Ms Kitt. She is probably best remembered for her role of Cat Woman on the sixties camp series Batman and for voicing characters in several Disney animations.

We don't know how such dastardly stories get started but we can tell you this; we will squash this and any other such stories immediately. Who says if it's on the Internet it must be true? Shameless!

Thank You Sir - May I Have Another!

Thanks to Jammie Wearing Fool for this post on his blog. Just in case last week's fiscal enema wasn't enough for the American taxpayer, the Democrats have another peanut and corn encrusted turd in store for us. In the photo on the left, Democrats Nazi Pelousi and Cholly Rangel respond to a question about fiscal responsibility with a hearty laugh.

Now we're being asked to pony up another $410 Billion dollars to finance more stimulus projects. Excuse me, but if we get any more stimulated we're gonna overdose. I'll be wired for years to come at this rate. The justification for this new fisting is; we have to make up for the budget cuts enacted by President Bush in the areas of health care, education, energy, and "other programs".

Someone correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't that the purpose behind last week's anal intrusion? And just WTF are the "other programs" mentioned by the Dems? I'm sure we're going to hear more about this in the next few days. Just how much more of this can the American taxpayer swallow? The Democrats are drunk with power and it's the taxpayers who are gonna suffer the inevitable hangover. Anyone got a couple of dozen Percocet?


Walking On Water

PINELLAS PARK - Randy Heine says he has surveillance video that shows a man and woman climbing over a fence.
The couple heads right for a sign that reads "One Nation Under Obama." They paint over Obama and replace it with God.
Heine owns the sign and isn't too happy about what he caught on tape.
"To me it's all about racism," said Heine.

Along with the far-left's new found respect for religion comes a new icon. The anointed one (Obama) has, in the eyes of Randy Heine, become equivalent with God. What other conclusion can anyone come to after reading this sign? And, as we are fast finding out these days, when it comes to Obama, any criticism of the President must be racist.

It's one thing for professional Black victims such as Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and Charles Barron to play the race card, but now far-left Whites are pulling the handy little victim credential when someone disagrees with them.

If I remember correctly, the Liberals in America scream bloody murder and piss their panties at the sight of the Ten Commandments and the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy. Fair enough to bitch if it's on Government property and involves the separation of Church and State. Their hypocrisy just doesn't pass the smell test. Neither does their sincerity.

This is private property so Mr Heine has the right to post any sign he wants. And I have the right to post this rant pointing out the lie the far-left live in this country when it comes to their being religious. It wasn't that long ago that GWB was being trashed for his faith. But I guess it's cool again to be a true believer. It's just another double standard that sticks in my craw. There - I feel better now. The link is below.


Sunday, February 22, 2009

American's With No Abilities Act 2009 - Congress Acts Now To Add This Earmark To Stimulus!

Feburary 22, 2009....Breaking News!
Just In From The UnAssosciated Press (c)
Just added to the Stimulus Bill...

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress is considering sweeping
legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans.
The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed
as a major legislation by Democrats of the millions of Americans
who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and
drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in
society," said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow
People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this
legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special
favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better
job, or have some idea of what they are doing."

Boxer pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which
has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard
to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack
job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of
Persons of Inability.

Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination
against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry
(68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The
DMV also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%)

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million
"middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding
titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory
sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given,
to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable
employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to
corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of
Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and
medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every
two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more
difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning
discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals
for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which
relate to this job?"

"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people
who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost
her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due
to her lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help
people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions
of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of
the tunnel.

Said Senator Nazi Pelousi, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide
each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy,
with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and also
find a place for all illegal aliens no matter how useless they may
be." Senator Harry Reid chimed in with a hearty ditto.

Thanks to Snopes for the urban legend and this ridiculous post. Or is it?

Friday, February 20, 2009

First Amendment? What First Amendment?

It's been said in the past that The First Causualty Of War Is Truth. Well it seems the first casualty of Political Correctness that plagues our Liberal Media is intestinal fortitude when it comes to drawing cartoons of Barry Obama.

No, President Obama hasn't struck down the First Amendment (yet). But in their zeal to not offend the "Chosen One", some cartoonists have gone on record saying they were being careful (code for fear) not to draw Obama with Simian or exaggerated (Lips, nose, etc) features. Now that's a tragedy since BO has ears that could get him airborne in a high wind. Excuse me, but Condoleeza Rice was called a "House Nigger" by far-left cartoonist Ted Rall and drawn as a negative caricature in many other cartoons. Doesn't the press feel she qualifies for the same courtesy? Oh - she's a Conservative? ----- Nevermind.

What's happening here is the Press in the U.S. have begun censoring themselves. All because they fear stereotyping President Obama through caricatures. Excuse me, but I can't remember a political cartoon that wasn't a caricature. The legendary Thomas Nast comes to mind. I always thought the job of an objective and healthy free press was to lampoon politicians therefore keeping them in line. It was one thing to be in the tank for Obama during the fall campaign but now the Liberal Media hesitate to criticize our new President because of fear. These are truly becoming a scary times.

There is one douchebag who loves to exploit this type of thinking - the RevRearend Al Sharpton. He's been on cruise control the last few months but after the recent Chimp cartoon from the New York Post he got his big fat ass in full swing. He's even called for the jailing of Rupert Murdoch, Publisher of the New York Post. All for daring to publish what was an obvious (to people who aren't brain dead) barb aimed at Congress. So Murdoch should go to jail for having and expressing opinions according to Fat Al Ass Sharpton.

Sharpton needs to spend less time on the Hot Wings and dipping sauce and take more time to learn about American Politics. He's too stupid to realize the cartoon was aimed at the House and Senate (Pelousy and Reid) in specific, and Congress in general. Not at Obama. Obama authored nothing - in this instance, Obama was just a rubber stamp for "The Most Ethical Congress Ever".

I am not blaming Obama. It's the climate of Political Correctness that will surely doom freedom of speech if it's taken to the extreme and absurd conclusion. It seems to be well on its way, especially with the new attention being payed to the "Fairness Doctrine" these days. God bless help America.


Thursday, February 19, 2009

Who Says Conservatives Are Humorless?

From Michelle Malkin...
I just visited Michelle's site today and saw this post. Go to Michelle's page and read the signs carried by the protesters. They are hilarious. After taking shit like this from the left for the last eight years it's time to do some dishing out. LOL is one of the most overused acronyms on the web these days but I was laughing out loud after seeing these pics.


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The First 2009 Douchebag Award Goes To...

Nazi Pelosi.

Just the Greasywrench way of saying thanks for the huge bill signed by President Obama today in Denver. Besides mortgaging the future of our children, this bill further speeds our beloved Country's slow but sure slide into Socialism.

Living in Kalifornia one can see how Government mismanagement and Nanny State meddling has worked for us. Ten-thousand state employees were layed off today, the state legislature is still trying to come up with a budget, and taxpayers are being issued IOU's in lieu of tax returns. The pencil pushers have still not learned from the mistakes of the past and continue to pursue the same spend more while taking in less fiscal policies. No wonder there is so little respect for Politicians and Government. It's business as usual in Sacramento. Oh, by the way, did I mention Pelosi is from Kalifornia? Who would have thought?

As the Speaker Of The House, Nazi Pelosi has been a tax and spend Liberal cliche. The final joke on the American electorate is after ramming the bill through the House (with no one even reading it) Pelosi and several of her stooges jetted off to Italy. Unfortunately, she is also expected to return.

We're From The Government...

and we're here to help you....
Have any words ever been more frightening? Today the Stimulus bill will be signed by BO and Lord help us if it doesn't work. This peanut and corn encrusted turd is the single most expensive piece of legislation in the history of Congress. That's a hell of a lot of hope and change to be experimenting with my children's future.

Here's a partial list of the lard that comes with the stimulus package.
• $2 billion earmark to re-start FutureGen, a near-zero emissions coal power plant in Illinois that the Department of Energy defunded last year because it said the project was inefficient.

• A $246 million tax break for Hollywood movie producers to buy motion picture film.

• $650 million for the digital television converter box coupon program.

• $88 million for the Coast Guard to design a new polar icebreaker (arctic ship).

• $448 million for constructing the Department of Homeland Security headquarters.

• $248 million for furniture at the new Homeland Security headquarters.

• $600 million to buy hybrid vehicles for federal employees.

• $400 million for the Centers for Disease Control to screen and prevent STD's.

• $1.4 billion for rural waste disposal programs.

• $125 million for the Washington sewer system.

• $150 million for Smithsonian museum facilities.

• $1 billion for the 2010 Census, which has a projected cost overrun of $3 billion.

• $75 million for "smoking cessation activities."

• $200 million for public computer centers at community colleges.

• $75 million for salaries of employees at the FBI.

• $25 million for tribal alcohol and substance abuse reduction.

• $500 million for flood reduction projects on the Mississippi River.

• $10 million to inspect canals in urban areas.

• $6 billion to turn federal buildings into "green" buildings.

• $500 million for state and local fire stations.

• $650 million for wildland fire management on forest service lands.

• $1.2 billion for "youth activities," including youth summer job programs.

• $88 million for renovating the headquarters of the Public Health Service.

• $412 million for CDC buildings and property.

• $500 million for building and repairing National Institutes of Health facilities in Bethesda, Maryland.

• $160 million for "paid volunteers" at the Corporation for National and Community Service.

• $5.5 million for "energy efficiency initiatives" at the Department of Veterans Affairs National Cemetery Administration.

• $850 million for Amtrak.

• $100 million for reducing the hazard of lead-based paint.

• $75 million to construct a "security training" facility for State Department Security officers when they can be trained at existing facilities of other agencies.

• $110 million to the Farm Service Agency to upgrade computer systems.

• $200 million in funding for the lease of alternative energy vehicles for use on military installations.

This doesn't include the 40 million for the NEA which is one of my pet gripes. Yes, now we can have more artists such as the late Robert Mapplethorpe depicting gay men pissing on religious icons and each other. I personally don't care what turned Mapplethorpe on, be it gay men with whips up their ass or golden showers. I just don't want my tax dollars to pay for this or any other subjective subject such as art. Art needs to stand on its own and not be subsidized by my (or your) money. And money for Amtrak - one of the biggest money pits in the history of U.S. transport. Millions for ACORN - the corrupt organization of lackeys working for the Dems. The list seems endless.

Not everything in this bill is fat, but read some of the items and decide for yourself what will put folks back to work and what is from the wish-list of Democrats favorite pet projects. Helen Keller could see through all the bullshit here.

I could continue posting more fat from the bill but my keyboard is smoking and my arthritis is acting up. My point being: just what the fuck do so many of these earmarks have to do with stimulating our economy and putting people back to work? And why didn't our esteemed Donkey-Dicks in Congress bother to read this bill? We have Nazi Pelosi and Harry Reid to thank for this monstrosity.

Some sources are below. Read the comments on the PAFOA website for more insite.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Now This Is Change You Can Believe In!

"Folks irked by Obama coins that are simply stickers placed on 50-cent pieces
They thought they were buying a piece of history but many customers now say they were ripped off."


Maybe this coin rip-off is the change that Dear Leader promised the idiots who voted for him. It stands to reason if they got fooled by Obama then I guess anyone can fool them. Thanks to Sweetness & Light for posting the story and the link.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

NBA Power Rankings!

Well after a great 6-0 road trip which included beating the Boston Celtics and the Cleveland Cavaliers the Lakers are back on top of Yahoo Sports NBA rankings. Bare (or is it Bear - I've always wondered) in mind the Lakers ended the Cavaliers unbeaten streak at home.

But, as with the score in an NBA game this will change again and again before the end of the season. After all, we're only getting to the All Star game. It's a long season. I took the time to read many of the Yahoo Sports comments on the Lakers and as always there are a lot of haters. WTF is it about the Lakers that inspire so much hate? Think NY Yankees I guess. The playoffs are still a couple of months away but I can't wait.


Rhianna The Rocker? Another Dumb Rant Today

I saw a link to this TMZ story on a website today and the caption got my attention. The TMZ story referred to Rhianna as a Rocker. Please don't make me gag. You could call her music pop, bubble gum or teeny-bop. There's even an argument that she's a fraud. After all, she appears to lip sync all of her live performances so one can only wonder if she can actually sing without a mixing board and music producers.

Who knows what her real voice actually sounds like since no one but possibly the sound engineers have ever heard it. But please don't call this woman a Rocker. It insults the memory of the late Janis Joplin and Cass Elliot and living singers such as Chrissy Hynde, Annie Lennox, Marcy Levy, and Pat Benatar among others.

Many years ago Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart was asked to define pornography. His reply went something like this: "I can't define it but I know it when I see it". Well that's the way I feel about Rock musicians and their music. I can't define it but I know it when I hear it.


Hugo Chavez At It Again

CARACAS, (AFP) – Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez reported an attempted coup against his palace by army troops in contact with "a soldier on the run in the United States," but said the government had everything under control.

"We've arrested some active duty soldiers who were in contact with a soldier on the run in the United States... sending messages about a so-called 'operation independence,'" Chavez said in a government-run television interview Wednesday.

"They're trying to infiltrate the Miraflores presidential palace, sending messages to military units located in some states governed by the opposition," Chavez said without saying how many people were arrested.

I just read this on Yahoo. Hugo Chavez claims there was an attempted coup by army troops against him. Hmmmm....this could be one of two things. Either the good people of Venezuela have finally had enough of his Socialist bullshit or....he's laying the groundwork to suspend the rights of the people of Venezuela.

The latter explanation is the most logical since he's facing a likely to be defeated referendum on Sunday on Constitutional reform which would give Chavez increased powers. This so-called coup could give Chango Chavez the excuse he needs to usurp the unlimited power that he craves. Either way something doesn't pass the smell test.

How many times in history have dictators (left and right) used this type of phony crisis to suspend human rights in an effort to grab power?

Sean Penn was unavailable for comment.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

News My Ass! It's A Marketing Ploy Yahoo!

LOUISVILLE, Ky. – Colonel Sanders' handwritten recipe for fried chicken was back in its Kentucky home Tuesday after five months in hiding while KFC upgraded security around its top corporate secret.
Nothing went afoul when the recipe was returned from an undisclosed location to KFC's headquarters late Monday in a lockbox handcuffed to the wrist of a security consultant.

KFC President Roger Eaton was visibly relieved when the door to a new electronic safe was shut with the single sheet of yellowing paper stashed inside. "Mission accomplished," he said.

I saw this today on Yahoo and thought to myself, Greasywrench, this is a huge crock of shit. I like KFC but I've fried up better chicken after a pint of Hiram Walker Peach Brandy. KFC is okay when I don't feel like cooking after working all day but this Maxwell Smart type of secret stash bullshit is a real insult to one's intelligence.

My late Mom could fry chicken that would make Colonel Sanders piss his lily white pants. Any good Chemist or Chef (wanna weigh in on this one Toast) could probably tell you the ingredients to KFC. The web is full of very good Kenucky Fried Chicken clone recipes so stop pulling my drumstick KFC.

At the end of the article we get the real point to this story - KFC sales are down and they're launching a new value meal. That's what this is all about. Not some cloak and dagger operation to protect the famous recipe. I loathe American advertising and all of its phony sales techniques. And Yahoo bit (Greasywrench loves a good Pun) into this fake story hook, line, and sinker. News my ass!

Monday, February 9, 2009

A-Roid Finally Comes Clean Fesses Up

A-Rod admits using performance-enhancers
By RONALD BLUM, AP Baseball Writer 10 minutes ago

NEW YORK (AP)—Alex Rodriguez admitted Monday to using banned drugs, the biggest name yet to acknowledge he couldn’t resist the temptation to juice up during baseball’s Steroids Era.

What did Gomer Pyle used to say? Well Surprise Surprise. Newsflash just in: A-Roid finally admits to what every one in the world already knew - he juiced. Who would have thought???

Several weeks ago I finally got around to reading Jose Canseco's book "Juiced". Say what you want about Jose, he had the balls (even if they've shrunk to pea size) to admit and even advocate his steroid use. He also named names in the book.

Look, there's an old expression that goes something like this "don't piss on me and tell me it's raining". Well A-Roid has been pissing on baseball fans for several years now. He only admits to using because it's become impossible to lie and deny any longer and he may be in legal trouble for it. Take a look at A-Roid, Barry Bonds, Mark Macguire, Sammy Sosa and you just can't help but think their transformation from "I just got sand kicked in my eyes" bodies to super-studs didn't happen from eating Wheaties. I despise liars.

I've been a big baseball fan for many years. Watching Henry Aaron, Mickey Mantle, Harmon Killabrew, Mike Schmidt, Carl Yazstremski, Willie Mays, Reggie Jackson and many other sixties and seventies power hitters makes me wonder just how many home runs they would have hit if they were juicing. They may have partied and drank, but unless I'm a flying pig they weren't steroid users.

I was actually at one famous game at Dodger Stadium when the late Willie Stargell became one of the few men to ever hit a ball completely out of (Stargell did it twice) Chavez Ravine. It bounced once on top of the right field pavilion canopy and skipped out into the parking lot. Only a couple of other players have ever done it again. Willie was the first and I WAS there. It was a strange sound to hear fourty-thousand people gasp all at once at the sight of it. Fucking awesome! I doubt Willie was juicing.

I can't even begin to wonder how many homers Babe Ruth would have hit had he been juicing or playing in a different era. He played some of his career in the Dead Ball Era and was a pitcher with Boston in the beginning of his career before he became the Yankee hitter we all know about. The pitching mound was also quite a bit higher in those days giving the pitchers an added advantage. The parks were also huge in their dimensions adding to the lack of home run production. Yet the Babe managed to hit 714 home runs. In today's parks he probably would have gone over a thousand in his career. We'll never know.

It's time for a whole lot of asterisk marks in the baseball record books. These fuckers are cheating.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Marshall Tucker Band

I logged onto YouTube last night and found two great Marshall Tucker Band videos from the seventies. I often criticize YouTube because of their gutless censoring tactics but without them I never would have been able to find (and download) these great old videos. And yes, you can download vids from YouTube - Google it.

Part Deux

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Tonight's Lakers Vs Boston Game

Well I guess we will see tonight if the Lakers have really improved since the drubbing they took last Summer against the Celtics. Yeah, I know the Lakers beat the Celts on Christmas day but that was a home game. The true test of a Championship team in the NBA is road play. The Lakers have to be able to win on the road to go deep in the playoffs again.

As I said last Spring, teams can and do get the benefit of the doubt when it comes to officiating at home. On the road it's a different story, hence the need to win away from home. Tonight's game should be very interesting. Kobe is playing at the top of his game, Pau Gasol is looking very good too. Jordan Farmar and Trevor Ariza are very improved and Lamar Odom seems to have taken to his roll coming off the bench very well. Without Andrew Bynum the Lakers are a much weaker team but as the old saying goes "injuries are a part of the game".

Well it's on again tonight and unless they meet again in the NBA finals, this will be the last time these two teams see each other this season. I have a feeling this is only a preview of bigger and better things to come. Any predictions Toast?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

How Stupid Is Nancy Nazi Pelosi?

Thanks to Tammy Bruce, here's another little tidbit from YouTube. Nancy Pelosi was asked about the delay in implementing the stimulus package currently being discussed and she came back with this absolutely shocking statistic. Then again, she is from the Bay Area.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Kobe Lights Up The Knicks For 61 Points

It looks like Kobe went proactive on Spike Lee last night in New York. Before Spike could talk any shit, Kobe trashed the Knicks defense for 61 points. Pau Gasol pumped in 31 points and 14 rebounds to add to the festivities.

With Andrew Bynum down for the next few weeks it's time to pick up the slack. Bynum was just starting to shine when he went down against the Grizzlies on Saturday. Bynum is expected to be back in time for the playoffs (and hopefully Boston) this season.