Saturday, April 28, 2012

Democrats: Vote Early - Vote Often!

Demorats may register here.
April 28, 2012...
Chicago, USA...
Greasywrench Press Service...

The Democrats for Omama campaign for 2012 began in earnest today with a registration drive held at a local Chicago cemetery. When asked by the friendly reporters from the Chicago Tribune why the drive was being held at the site, Omama campaign director David Axlegrease replied "the dead are among the most loyal of the democratic party voters - so why not". And the official democrapic party literature no longer will refer to the voters as "dead" according to Axlegrease. Henceforth we will be calling them "permanently resting" voters.

When President Omama was asked to comment on reports of criticism of the cemetery voter drive he claimed the Republicans were "waging a war on the dead". Chicago Tribune reporter Iama Sycophant also denied reports that her newspaper was in the "tank" for the Omama campaign. Why, she was then asked, are all the Chicago Tribune reporters wearing Omama 2012 badges? She angrily tossed hers down and shot back "badges - we don't need no stinkin badges".

Entertainment was also provided at the cemetery voter drive featuring Mayor Rahm Emanuel dancing Swan Lake in his lovely new Pink Tutu. Former Governor Rod Blagojevich was reportedly unable to attend the event due to a conflict in schedules. Evidently Blagojevich is still in prison. Omama adviser Valerie Jarrett had to cancel her appearance because of a suspicious fire in one of her many low-cost Chicago rental units. Loyal Democratic supporter Al Capone was unavailable for comment.

Next week's democratic party voter registration drives were reportedly going to be held in Mexico City, Caracas, Venezuela and Bogota, Colombia. "Se habla Espanol"

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