Sunday, December 22, 2013

Unintended Consequences?

In an ironic turn of events, president Hussein Soetero Omama became a "survivor" of his own healthcare law. While touting the benefits of Omamacare, president Omama was the victim of a botched flu shot...

Due to the current shortage of Doctors who are now retiring because of the ACA, the medical staff at D.C. Memorial hospital have began using staff members not licensed to practice medicine to conduct basic medical procedures. This included janitors who were giving EKG exams, cafeteria workers who were authorized to perform open heart surgeries and orderlies who were performing kidney transplants. One could say the president got a "taste of his own medicine" once they were finished "practicing" on him.

The president was actually the victim of a bathroom attendant who was mistakenly given the job of performing a prostrate exam instead of the flu shot Omama was scheduled to receive. During the procedure the attendant accidentally "probed" too deep with a toilet plunger and struck the spinal column of the president leaving Omama partially paralyzed. 

But fear not - Omama's buddies at GM were able to fit the crippled leader with this spiffy new high-mileage vehicle (the successor to the Volt) that is guaranteed to NOT harm the environment. The White House press corps cleverly dubbed the two wheeler the "deuce poop". It is powered by six large hungry rats on treadmills and is capable of a ten mile per hour top speed. It also gets approximately five-hundred miles per gallon of fuel. Of course the Secret Service has to follow the fallen "leader" around with a bag of Purina Rat Chow to keep the speedy vehicle rolling. There was no mention of the stream of steamy rat turds now littering D.C. Evidently they can't be sorted out from the politicians (more rats) who infest the Nation's capital.

Now - here's hoping that Harry Reid keeps that D.C. Memorial appointment for the testosterone treatments he's scheduled to receive next week. There's no telling what these "medical experts" will be able to come up with while treating Dirty Harry. But I have a sneaking suspicion he's gonna be needing that birth control coverage everyone else is being forced to pay for once he gets his "shots". And I can't wait to see how Nancy Pelosi's frontal lobotomy turns out. It may actually improve her. Any bets?

The moral of this parody is this: If it's good for the Goose, it's good for the Gander. With Omama this pun IS intended. Think about it.

Note: in the interests of full disclosure I found the wheelchair image on the web several years ago. I stuck the Omama face in place of FDR all by myself.


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