Monday, October 5, 2009

Joe Friday Gives Polanski The Biz

If things were only this cut and dried in the real world. Imagine the following scenario being true and actually happening....

As I type...
Sgt. Joe Friday is now interrogating Roman Polanski in the interview rooms of LAPD's Hollywood Division. Is that a puddle I see running down Roman's leg? It looks like Mr Polanski is all wee wee'd up. Could Polanski be contemplating an intimate encounter in Folsom Prison with an inmate named Jim Bob? Roman is gonna need a whole lot of Qualudes to subdue someone larger than a thirteen year old girl.

Now the creative shakers and movers of Tinsel Town react...
Of course the good people of Hollywood were offended at the terrible treatment of Roman Polanski. A large mob was last seen storming the Hollywood Division headquarters in a valiant but vain effort to rescue Roman from the LAPD. The weapons confiscated from the angry mob included pink ribbons, coke spoons, whips, chains, dog collars, several empty bottles of Vicodin & Prozac, Syringes, and other assorted missiles.

Famous celebrities comment...
"Polanski must be saved"
thundered an enraged Woody Allen in an interview after the failed rescue attempt. After all, the hulking Mr. Allen added, "Roman's a great artist". Just ask Harvey Weinstein, Whoopie Goldberg and Debra Winger. But after all - it wasn't "rape-rape" according to Ms. Goldberg.

Final thought - I wonder how many of Polanski's Hollywood defenders have thirteen-year old daughters?

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