Friday, February 19, 2010

Disease My Ass! Tiger Woods Is A Horn Dog!

Tiger Woods has taken time out from his "Sex Rehab" and emerged a better man to express his apologies. Excuse me Tiger - but you owe no statements or apologies to anyone other than your Wife, Children, and your immediate family. Your sex life and lack of being faithful is no more my business than the breakfast you had this morning. But you do look ridiculous groveling before the cameras!

Hyper-sexuality AKA "Sex Addiction" by its current trendy name is hard-wired into most men and some women. How in the fuck (pun intended) can Psychologists define it if they can't even agree what IS a normal sex drive in Humans. Sex drives vary tremendously. It's totally subjective. If it's a disease, it's because the powers that be in the medical community want it labeled so in order to have insurance companies foot the bill for the treatment. A generation or so ago we'd be calling Tiger a philanderer or a horn dog. He no more has a disease than a Pig flies. And no more groveling for your fans!

Tiger - you should have never gotten married. That's where you fucked up. If you're gonna grovel and scrape before anyone it should be the woman you married. You did her wrong - not me or anyone on the PGA tour or the public. If you can't stay faithful then the best thing to do is divorce her and relapse. If this sounds cynical too bad. You owe it to yourself to be honest about your condition. Do the right thing and divorce her. Then give her the settlement she has coming and get on with your nocturnal adventures. And quit groveling!

But - I would suggest you head to the sperm bank and make a large deposit in case you want more children in the future. Then run, and I mean run to a clinic and get yourself a vasectomy. It won't protect you from STD's but it just might protect you from the obvious multitude of Gold Diggers who will surely emerge from the woodworks in the future. If you can't keep the old putter in your pants, at least protect yourself from Paternity lawsuits. And stop groveling for the cameras.

BTW, you were never a role model for me. It's been a pleasure to watch your work on the golf courses of the World but athletes just don't qualify as role models. Many, if not most, have feet of clay. Mickey Mantle comes to mind. I remember watching him play when I was a kid and he was great to watch. But look how things worked out for the Mick. Charles Barkley said it best - "I'm not a role model... Just because I dunk a basketball doesn't mean I should raise your kids." And please - no more groveling. (Did I mention that already?)

And one last thing Tiger - watch out for Gloria Allred. She's made a wonderful living extorting, shaking down, squeezing, suing guys like you. Ooops - I think I'm too late on the Gloria Allred thing. BTW, Ms. Allred got totally punked by the lovely Janeane Piro on Bill O'Reilly tonight.,220808

No comments: