Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Jimmuh Carter's Smart Pill Award

Just in from the Greasywrench Press Service...
Plains Georgia...
April 23, 2008 (c)

Former President Jimmy Carter proudly accepts his "Aricept" Blue Ribbon Award for being one of Pfizer's most notable Aricept user.

Former President Carter often refers to his Aricept tablets as his "smart pills" when questioned about the rather large dosage he has been prescribed. Mrs Carter often hides the pills in the peanut dishes around the house to have some light fun with the President. She's even been quoted as saying "Jimmuh doesn't know the difference, and besides, the damn things aren't helping him anyway".

Rosalyn Carter even hinted that the President still thinks he's in office and occasionally wanders off to the Mid-East on diplomatic missions not knowing he's no longer the President and that it's now the twenty-first century. "Ooohh he pisses me off sometimes" she thundered during a recent interview.

Many medical experts are actually divided over whether the drug really works on the many patients to whom it's been prescribed which brings us to an old joke...

A man walks up to a kid one day and asks if he'd like to buy some smart pills for a dollar. The kid instantly answers yes.
The kid pays him the money and the guy hands over three little pellet shaped rat turds.
Not wanting to be ripped off, the kid tests them while the dealer is still there.

He plops about three in his mouth and he notices that they are the worst thing he has ever tasted and without thinking replies
"Hey, these are nothing but shit pellets"
Then the guy replies "see, they're working. You're getting smarter already

The moral of the story is: some people just can't be helped. Even Ex-Presidents.

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